Wednesday, 13 June 2012

5 rules to sustain your relationship/marriage as a woman.



1. Do not drag his ego in the mud but package and nurture it for him: Vasti did it but never lived to complete the story .By nature, an average man is proud. Even though, many of them will disagree. It is psychological. He likes to feel big and pompous. He wants to pay for everything at the grocery. He doesn’t mind if he puts you on the plane and come home by road from Abuja. By your Shawama and not be able to afford a donut for himself. Buy your Brazilian hair but fight over N300 with his barber. Get you a blackberry porche but go about with a rubber band visafone etc. That is his nature. He was made that way. He is like a lion. He wants to conquer his world all the time. Let him dictate the pace, feel important and you will always have his best.

2. Do not threaten his headship: Let him remain the head but you must not go below the neck. Don't go below the neck in the sense that, in as much as he sees himself as the head, he still wants a level headed woman in thinking, intelligence, ideology, exposure etc. You must not be too backward or else you will be sent to the back seat and he will never carry you along in any of his decision makings. And before you know it, you will end up in 3-fold assignment (cooking, raising kids and sex) as some are currently doing. You can advise him or make suggestion but, don't try to display any sign of superiority over him. If you do, he will feel threatened, demoralized and the relationship/marriage will gradually go down the drain. Men may rule the world, but wise women indirectly rule the men that rule the world.

3. You must be wise as an eagle. An eagle neither struggle with the wind nor flap its wings like any other bird. It adjusts itself in the direction of the wind and soars along. There is nothing wrong in a woman being great but pray for your husband to be greater. An average man does not see it a big deal when he takes care of his woman and family. He loves to do that he though at time, he could be acting lazy. But it becomes an issue when it is the other way round. The glory of a wife is hidden in her husband. Don't you know that it sounds nice when a woman shows her friend the car she bought for herself  but more glorious when the other woman points in return a car bought for her by her husband even if is small? Yoruba refers to women as "Gbolahan" (The displayer of wealth). You can be great but, strive, support and encourage your husband to be greater. It was made so in the beginning.

4. Remain a woman he can be proud of in the closet and public. I am not talking of your character here. Even though, good character sustains the relationship/marriage but, your physical appearance must be at optimum. It is because men judge by sight. That is the nature of man. You must always look presentable before him. If not, he can deny you in public. Look good always. You don't appear before the king with an unshaved bears. Joseph had to be taken to the laundry for a clean up. You don't get married and become careless. In modesty, you must look polished and remain trimmed all the time irrespective of your age. If you must make up, do, but do not make over. So that you don’t end up with "Tu-face" (double image).

5. Don't compete with him. A common saying that, what a man can do, a woman can do better is from hell. It is not scriptural. You were not created in the beginning to compete with him. Can a man find himself in the labor room? It is a capital NO. He was not made to operate that way. You cannot compete with him and win. That doesn’t make you weak. It is just your design. Thanks. pls share with loved ones.

Tunde Adenuga



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