5 ESSENTIALS TO HAVE THE BEST OF HIM IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGE (EDITED)

1. Do not drag his ego in the mud but package and nurture it for him: Vasti did it. But never lived to complete the story .By nature, an average man is proud. He has this thing called ego. Even though, many of them will disagree. It is psychological. He likes to feel big and pompous. He wants to pay for everything
at the grocery. He doesn’t mind if he puts you on the plane and come home by road from Abuja. Buy your Shawama and not be able to afford a donut for himself. Buy your Brazilian hair but fight over N300 with his barber. Get you a blackberry porche but go about with a rubber band Visafone etc ( just joking). That is his nature. He was made that way. He was created first. So, he wants to always play the role of a big brother.He is like a lion. He wants to conquer his world all the time. Let him dictate the pace, let him feel important and you will always have his best. Challenge his ego, he will not only take advantage of you but also dump you in the end. Remember, he listens and takes advice from his friends than you do in your world.

2. Do not threaten his headship: Let him remain the head but you must not go below the neck. Don't go below the neck in the sense that, in as much as he sees
himself as the head in his relationship with you including the family, he still wants a level headed woman in thinking, intelligence, ideology, exposure etc. You must not be too backward or else you will be sent to the back seat and he will never carry you along in any of his decision makings. And before you know it, you will end up in 3-fold assignment (cooking, raising kids and sex) as some are currently doing. He does not mean any harm doing this. That is just his person. You can advise him or make suggestion but, don't try to display any sign of superiority over him. If you do, he will feel threatened, demoralized and the relationship/marriage will gradually go down the drain. Men may rule the world, but wise women indirectly rule the men that rule the world.

3. You must be wise as an eagle. An eagle neither struggle with the wind nor flap its wings like any other bird. It adjusts itself in the direction of the wind and soars along. There is nothing wrong in a woman being great but pray for your husband to be greater. An average and reasonable man does not see it a big deal when he takes care of his woman and family. He sees this as his responsibility. even though we have some that prove otherwise.He loves to do that. It is part of his make up. But it becomes an issue when it is the other way round. The glory of a wife is hidden in her man/husband. Don't you know that it sounds nice when a woman shows her friend the car she bought for herself  but more glorious when the other woman points in return a car bought for her by her husband even if it is a small car? Yoruba refers to women as "Gbolahan" (The displayer of wealth). You can be great but, strive, support and encourage your husband to be greater. That is where your true glory is. It was made that way by God in the beginning.

4. Remain a woman he can be proud of in the closet and public. I am not talking of your character here. Even though, good character sustains the relationship/marriage but, your physical appearance must be at optimum. It is because men judge by sight. Your appearance and look play major roles here. That is the nature of man. No woman is ugly in my opinion. Some just seem to be more appealing than others. We do not all have it physically intact. Some have the face but do not have the curve. Some do have the curve but the face is out of this world. So, you know your strength and capitalize on this. Do not get me wrong! I do not mean you should seduce him with your body structure but always put them in proper places. Because if you do, haha, when he finishes with you, he will hunger for something better. You must always look presentable before him. If not, he can deny you in public as some have done before. Look good always. You don't appear before the king with an unshaved bears. Joseph had to be taken to the laundry for a clean up. You don't get married and become careless. In modesty, you must look polished and remain trimmed all the time irrespective of your age. If you must make up, please do! But do not make over. So that you don’t end up with "Tu-face" (double images).

5. Don't compete with him. A common saying that, what a man can do, a woman can do better is from hell. It is not scriptural. You were not created in the beginning to compete with him. Can a man find himself in the labor room? It is a capital NO. He was not made to operate that way. You cannot compete with him and win. That doesn’t make you weak. You are only a strong personality in disguise. It is just your design. Thanks.Please, kindly share with loved ones.

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Glory be to God.

Tunde Adenuga