COMMON MISTAKES A LADY MUST AVOID ON HER FIRST DATE

 

BY TUNDE ADENUGA

A date in its simple context is just a particular time set aside by two or more parties to share, carry or improve a common or intending interest. So, it is not an avenue for an unnecessary and careless disposition of information except if it is extremely important. That is why you can’t really say much about a person just on the account of one or two appointments/dates. This is because; most of the things we express at that point in time are just the real good sides of us. Everybody wants to impress the other person just as the way it happens in any animal kingdom. A guy that is naturally aggressive and cruel suddenly turns into a dove. While the lady that lives in the ghetto begins to display some attributes of someone who resides in Buckingham Palace. So, over 50% of what we display at any date venue are usually unreliable. Despite that, there are some major flaws you must not make on your first date as a lady. 

KEEP TO TIME: Nothing breaks a lady’s defense than starting a date with apology. Keep to time. It is not a sign of anxiety or desperation as some quarters (immature guys) might have perceived. It is actually a symbol of

discipline and respect for you and to the guy in question. An average man gives honor to any woman who respects him. It is to your own advantage. Let your 1pm be 1pm. Remember, it is a date. So, I don’t really expect him to come and pick you at home. An average woman is emotional. And by the time you start with “I’m sorry for coming late”, he will have a winning hedge over you. It will affect your sense of judgment and you are likely to fall for any unnecessary demand all in the name of compensation. You must not reduce your free will. Plan your time very well. It shows how organized you are as a person. SO TRY AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE TO KEEP TO TIME.

GO LITTLE: This is one the biggest mistakes some ladies make on their first date with guys. You must know that your first date with a guy is a period where impression and perception count a lot. He has not really known you so to speak. So, you must be careful how you carry yourself as a lady. I expect your date to take place at an eatery, restaurant, park etc. but , I am more of an advocate of the first two. Some go the movies. But I believe it should be an atmosphere where two of you can have a cool time together with less distraction. Because I wonder how two people will have time to discuss during a movie. Naturally, the guy will love to do the buying. So, you must try as much as possible to maintain a good balance budget with him. Of cos, he won’t tell you how much he has or can afford. He has an ego that must not be dragged in the mud. If you must demand for something, please go for something small especially when it comes to something that goes into the stomach. It is not everything on the counter you eat. Even if he insists for something higher in value or heavy meal, you must maintain a level of dignity. It is also for your own security because many have ended up as cleaners at the end of the meal.  I think you know what I mean? Some of them do this deliberately to test your resolve. Unfortunately, majority of ladies fall for it. Why can’t you go for something as little as water, ice cream, soft drink with snacks and let it end there? Another thing many ladies don’t understand is that, the more you go for those heavy meals the more you are likely to expose your flaws especially when it comes to table manners.. Pls save that embarrassment for another time and not on your first date. 

YOU DON’T TAKE AWAY: I heard of a lady that had a date and went home with pepper soup in a nylon bag. Why and why? It might sound funny but it was true. It happens. Yours may be as little as a piece of cake or meat pie. This is another blunder that ladies must avoid at all cost. Whatever that is bought for you at the eatery must not be taken home either big or small. It is either you eat them all or leave them on the table. Mind you, those things were bought for both of you to have a good and comfortable atmospheric condition. It is supposed to aid your discussion. So, it is unfair when it is the guy alone that is eating why you plan to take yours home. It is an environment where everyone must package him or herself very well. You don’t display poverty mentality there. It gives a negative impression about yourself.

DON’T START WITH A BURDEN: Every lady must try and get this. By nature, guys tend to be the initiators of dates. Men usually do the proposal and expect the lady to say yes, picking of time and venue. Let me talk on the venue. Before you pick a meeting point, make sure you have a clear picture of your financial state. You must not pick a venue that you don’t have a financial means of getting there. It is better to pick somewhere close to where you live than choosing a far place that you won’t meet up with. You don’t pick a cab and expect the guy to pay for it at the venue. You don’t start on that note even if poverty is obvious around you. These are things that destroy a lot of dates. You need to understand that guys are smart and they keep records a lot. Nobody likes to be burdened. You must not start with that impression. It tells a lot about you.  You are sending a signal that the young guy is coming to carry a burden. He will run away. It is too early. You must avoid sharing your needs and family except the guy insists to know. This scares any guy.

POST DATE APPRECIATION: Some believe this is not the work of the lady. That the guy should go all the way. You can also. In short, I will suggest you do it. It doesn’t reduce your dignity in any way. It actually improves it especially among guys that are matured. Just a simple text of appreciation is enough. I am not asking you for an epistle. For instance, hello Tunde, thanks for today. I really appreciate. As simple as that. Don’t  go beyond that or asking funny or suspicious questions. This is because, not every good guy is bold enough to start the next stage. So , you can encourage him if he is someone you think you have a notch for. Because I am not even expecting you to keep a dinner date with a guy you are clearly sure that nothing can be established between both of you in the first place. 

DRESS WELL:. You must not take this for granted even if the meeting point is the next building to your house. Your appointment is not a function of distance but the atmosphere. Remember, those who didn’t  put on the wedding garment were chased out from the king’s banquet. Your dress sense must fit your occasion with a high level of modesty. And if you start your date with a wrong or “revealing” material, you would have to continue to reveal to keep the date even if it is no longer convenient. Thanks. Pls share. Jesus is Lord!