TO ALL LADIES AND WIVES

One thing I have understood over time is that, where you don’t build, is always difficult to have a sense of belonging. I have a very beautiful damsel that I was always telling to buy me something whenever she was returning from work. But now, I don’t think I need to remind her again. I try as much as possible to double if not triple what ever she brings on her arrival. God forbid! We are not competing. Competition is not love. But we have to train ourselves to understand that true love is based on sacrifice.


It is not what she brings in the evening for me that makes me who I am. But, it has helped the relationship in terms commitment, confidence, communication and
sense of belonging. And this where a lot of ladies missed it and their relationship never worked in the end. I am not talking of fake and wicked guys here. But that responsible guy.

At creation by God, an average man was designed with ego. Adam would not have subdued in the garden if there was nothing to fall back on. It was part of his make up. So, all that you need to do as a wise woman is to nurture it for him. You cannot question it because you won’t like the answer. Don’t drag it in the mud. He will want to pay for everything even though some of us do it for wrong motive. You can’t beat him at spending if he really has the money.

Let me digress a little. It is not a good thing for a man to feed on his wife. It is a curse. I am not saying the woman cannot support when things are down. But the man with the support of his wife must strive at all cost to get up again. It was not so in the beginning. When things went wrong in the garden, God did not question Eve first even though she was the one that was deceived(I Timothy 2;14). The first question went straight to Adam. So men must take responsibility at all time.

But this same man also has emotion. Forget all the GIRAGIRA he does at times. He can also become a baby especially for a woman he likes deeply. You can ask brother Samson(Judges 16:15)The real guy that really loves you also has a need. He wants commitment, he wants sacrifice, he wants to be pampered, and also wants his head on your shoulder at times. So, even though you can’t compete with him at giving, please don’t limit yourself at the receiving side. Learn to give gift too. It is not the amount that matters to a real and responsible man but the heart and act of doing it. Send him a recharge card even if it is N100.

There is away I feel when a lady does that to me. Don’t limit the calling to him. Even if it is just 30Secs, Please do. Or how do you feel when a guy sends you a credit and you still have to flash back so that he can call to confirm if the credit went or not? All these make you look like a gold digger as a woman and don’t help your relationship. This is why some careless husband will tell their wives “ would you have married me if not because of my wealth?” she was not sacrificing anything during the courtship, the woman had limited herself on the receiving side. Now, she doesn’t have any sense of belonging in that marriage. There is nothing to too big to sacrifice in a relation except SEX.

Please, spice up your relationship with that responsible man. He doesn’t need much from you. Just your little stretch of hand, you will have his best. Thank you. Have a great day.

Tunde Adenuga